Most risk training focuses on the protocols, the frameworks, the assessment tools. And rightly so — these are needed, appropriate, and worth teaching. I'm not suggesting otherwise. But what I think we often miss is the human element. When we focus on the cold, hard facts without discussing how we might be feeling — and how that affects the client — we miss some really important parts of what we're trying to achieve. Risk work isn't about assessing and passing on. It's about assessing, managing, and doing everything we can to relieve or reduce that risk. The clinical side matters. But so does the person sitting across from you. Anxiety in the Room — Both Sides of It. When risk comes into the therapy room, there is anxiety on both sides. We don't always acknowledge that honestly enough. From the client's perspective, they are sharing something with someone they feel safe enough to tell. That doesn't mean they feel comfortable. It doesn't mean they aren't anxious about what it means or where it will go. There may be a part of them that worries that the moment they say anything, an ambulance will arrive to take them somewhere. That fear — however unfounded — is real and shapes what they do and don't disclose. From the therapist's perspective, we're anxious because we don't want harm to come to our client. We don't want them holding back. We may worry they're not telling us everything. And if we carry that anxiety visibly into the room — if we panic, if we become uncomfortable, if we rush — we make it harder for the client to open up, and harder for any future therapist to do the same. Anxiety in the therapy room is contagious. That's not a criticism — it's simply true. And it's one of the most important reasons why how we hold risk matters as much as what we do with it. What Helps Us Manage Our Own Anxiety Knowing our threat response and how to soothe it is a starting point. But in practice, the things that manage our anxiety in these moments are simpler than we might think. The questions we ask. The way we explore — what does this mean to them? Are these intrusive thoughts or is there intent? Have there been previous attempts? Is what they're saying matching their body language, their presentation, what they've shared in sessions generally? Are they looking forward? Are there things they're still planning for? These questions don't just gather information. They regulate the conversation. They signal to the client that we can hold this — that we're not panicking, not rushing to a conclusion, not about to do something without them. Admitting to ourselves that we're anxious is not a sign of incompetence. Knowing what we can work with and what we can't is an asset, not a weakness. Exploring that in supervision, in our training, before it arrives in the room — that's what builds the kind of confidence that holds when it matters. Frameworks Versus Felt Experience If we work within a service, protocols and policies exist for good reason. They represent what an organisation has agreed is workable, and the boundaries they set are there to protect the client, us, and the service. If something feels like it doesn't fit, that's when we take it to a manager. If it's within parameters, we trust the framework. But in private practice, we are the framework. How are we protecting our clients? How are we protecting ourselves emotionally, professionally, practically? Because when we know the answers to those questions — when we've thought them through in advance — we are more relaxed, more capable, and more present in the moments that matter. Transparency With Clients Part of working confidently with risk is being able to explain clearly and calmly what happens next. What does contacting a GP involve? What if emergency services are called? What would we say, and is there anything the client would want us to include? How can someone be around them during what may be a difficult time? If a client has described intrusive thoughts, the worry that they'll be taken more seriously than they feel they are can be very hard to manage. Transparency helps. It might not lead to a comfortable outcome. It might not be what the client would choose. But being clear and honest about what we will do and why — while preserving as much of the relationship and their dignity as possible — is what makes the difference. Our confidentiality policies will always state that if we believe someone is in danger, we will act. That's the duty of care. But at its heart, confidentiality is about confidence — confidence that we will try to protect this person, that we will do our best by them. When we've thought through these conversations in advance, when we know what we'd say and why, we carry that into the room. And it shows. Why This Is Part of Why I Built the Course This is part of why I developed Building Confidence in Private Practice: Preparing to Work with Risk. I wanted to create something that addressed not just the clinical what — but the human how. I also wanted it to be online, at your own pace, for a very specific reason. That feeling of wanting to ask something but hesitating because you worry you're the only one who doesn't already know — that's real. It stops people from learning what they need to learn. A self-paced course offers something a room full of peers can't always offer: the space to think, to revisit, to ask without fear. Risk doesn't always arrive with the clients we expect it to. But when it does, having thought about it in advance — having worked through how you'll manage yourself as well as the situation — makes all the difference. That's what this course is for. 🔗 counsellingwithdominic.co.uk/working-with-risk-course

Do I work differently with men? The short answer is no. I work with everyone as they present — that's what person-centred means. There's no separate approach for men versus women; everyone brings their own uniqueness, and that has to be met on its own terms, not treated as a category. The longer answer is that I read hesitancy and reluctance wherever it shows up. There can be similarities — an anxiety about what to bring, what to say, where to start — and I try to build toward the things someone wants to explore rather than expecting them to arrive ready-made. Why vulnerability doesn't come easy Men have been told for a long time that they need to be strong. It's easy to revert to type — hunter, gatherer, protector — when that's the shape society keeps handing back to you. Without strong role models showing that vulnerability can be a form of strength, it's hard not to hide behind a mask of invincibility. And if the chances to genuinely share how you're feeling are limited early on, the confidence to have that conversation later never really gets the chance to grow. In sports teams and traditional male workplaces — building sites, mechanics' yards — the culture is banter, not compassion. Support and understanding do show up, but the fear of it turning into ribbing can be enough to keep it locked away. Boys don't cry, or don't take things too seriously — that stiff-upper-lip mentality just extends the habit of holding things in. Strengths, not just weaknesses Tom Brady talks about being the 199th pick in his draft year — almost unbelievable in hindsight, given the career that followed. He describes learning to see himself fully: not just physical and mental strength, but emotional capability too. He prepared for every stage of training and playing with that in mind, working on his weaknesses as hard as his strengths, because he wanted to be consistently at his best — including in the biggest moments. Brady's shift in mentality is to appreciate the strengths and use the weaknesses to grow — because if you lose sight of your strengths chasing only the negatives, you lose the fair view of how you actually develop. That balance — physical, emotional, social, intellectual — is the whole picture. Neglect one, and the others get held back too. When it matters most If we can't see strengths in ourselves, or feel unable to express what's weighing on us, the stress of holding it in can have a massive impact. That repression can lead to anger, depression, and other issues — and without a way to manage it, it can become a very dark path. The statistics on male suicide are stark: men are more likely to take their own lives, and when they attempt to, they're more likely to use methods that are lethal and final. What's also clear is that these attempts often come without warning, and without reaching out for help first. That worries me, and it's exactly why I want to be warm, welcoming, and make sure any man who comes to counselling can speak without shackles. Building the bridge Small talk — sometimes longer, sometimes shorter — I gauge it against how ready someone feels to settle into the "work" of the conversation. I allow more pauses, and I'll use shared interests to break things up if it feels like too much, too soon. I really admire the work done by Menfullness — engaging men through practical groups first, spaces that aren't framed as therapy or "talking about emotions," but that can grow into that when someone's ready. You may have seen them on local news — groups like dads learning to do their daughters' hair. Practical, confidence-building, and a quiet way of building pride into relationships. Provider, protector, needed? There was a time when men went out to work and put food on the table, and that was simply how it was — provider and protector, no question asked. When industries like mining disappeared, so did that identity, and men had to find a way forward without the role that had defined them. Even now, with AI reshaping what work looks like, that same question — what am I for, if not this — hasn't gone away. There's more space today for people going through that kind of transition, more encouragement to find a new identity and a new way to make a living, and in some ways the old expectations are easing as they get challenged. It's worth asking who men have to look up to, growing up — who are the role models that positively challenge them? If our role models are based around money, possessions, or treating women as objects, it can leave a kind of emptiness — a restlessness, a difficulty settling or feeling content with the smaller things in life. In therapy, I often see that shift happen — a settling, an appreciation for the smaller things that felt out of reach before. Relief at being able to speak freely, which can feel overwhelming and liberating all at once. The world gets bigger and wider to explore, without that meaning it's darker. I don't see therapy with men as a problem with the individual — I see it as society and systems, and it's on us to meet people halfway and tell them it's okay to feel. None of these stereotypes get fixed, or even fully addressed, in one post. This is about opening a door, not closing an argument. However you find your way in — Know you are welcome. You can express all emotions — sadness, happiness, relief, anxiety. If you're angry, I want you to tell me and work with it, so long as it isn't aimed at me or the therapy room. You'll be offered a warm drink. I don't judge. We'll start and find a way, even on the weeks you don't know what to bring. I will listen, and do my best to make you feel comfortable www.counsellingwithcominic.co.uk/menscounselling

When I started thinking seriously about creating a course around risk in private practice, a few things kept standing out to me. I noticed it in colleagues at university — a nervousness around the topic that went beyond not knowing what to do. I noticed it in Facebook groups for counsellors, where moments of uncertainty and lack of confidence would surface regularly. And I noticed it in my NHS role, speaking to therapists who would sometimes pass things over quickly, without looking further, without quite trusting themselves to stay with it. It became clear to me that this wasn't really a knowledge problem. Most therapists know, broadly, what they should do when risk comes into the room. The issue is confidence. The confidence to work with it. The confidence to look at things more carefully. The confidence to make a decision and know why you've made it. What I Could Bring That Might Be Different Alongside my private practice, I work for the NHS on a mental health crisis line — listening at crisis point, triaging, signposting, and contributing to the assessment process. It's the kind of role that has shaped how I think about risk in a very practical, human way. What I've learned is that working well with risk is fundamentally about confidence — not certainty, but confidence. Knowing what you're doing and why. Feeling equipped rather than exposed. That's what I wanted to bring to private practice therapists. I also went through a period just after I qualified where risk felt like too much. Where I wondered whether I should be taking on certain clients. Where I passed people over not because I couldn't help them, but because I didn't feel ready. I know what that feels like — and I know what made the difference. Why Online and Self-Paced? I thought carefully about this. What stops people from building confidence around risk? Sometimes it's the worry of looking stupid. Of asking a question that feels basic. Of not being sure of something in a room full of peers who seem more certain than you are. An e-learning course felt like the answer to that. You can work through it in your own time. You can sit with questions without feeling inadequate. You can go back to sections when a client presentation brings something into focus. You can pause when something activates a feeling in you and take it to supervision before continuing. There's no performance required — just honest, private reflection. I wanted to create something that felt different from the standard risk training. Not more information delivered at pace, but a genuine space to think, reflect and build confidence at your own speed. The Process of Building It I won't pretend it was all straightforward. Recording myself, putting my face on camera, speaking into a microphone in my office — none of that felt natural at first. There was a moment where I wondered whether I was really the right person to be doing this. But something kept me going. The research, the planning, the process of thinking carefully about what would genuinely help someone sitting alone in a private practice room with a client in crisis — I found that I really enjoyed it. The creativity of thinking about how to present things in a way that would create perspective and understanding rather than just information. The sense that I was building something with a purpose. And somewhere in that process, my confidence grew. Not just in recording or presenting, but in the material itself. In the value of what I was putting together. It turns out that doing something uncomfortable with a clear sense of why you're doing it is a pretty good route to confidence — which, when I think about it, is exactly what this course is asking you to do too. Who Is This Course For? This course is for: — Counsellors and therapists working in private practice — Students approaching the end of their training and thinking about independent practice — Therapists thinking about moving into private practice — Practitioners who want to brush up or improve their confidence in working with risk — Anyone who has avoided taking on certain clients because risk feels like too much You do not need to have worked extensively with risk to benefit from this course. If anything, it's designed for the moments before that experience — to help you feel ready rather than anxious when it arrives. What's In It? The course covers 10 self-paced sections including: — Understanding risk as a dynamic process, not a fixed state — Recognising verbal and behavioural warning signs — How to ask directly about suicidal ideation — and why this matters — Assessment frameworks, tools and their limits — Collaborative safety planning — Documentation and clinical reasoning — Referral pathways in private practice — Therapist wellbeing and what to do after difficult sessions — Two clinical case vignettes with reflective questions It also includes 12 downloadable resources and templates — including a collaborative safety plan, risk factors reference card, supervision agenda, documentation checklist and more — designed to be used in practice beyond the course itself. A CPD certificate of completion is issued on passing the end of course quiz. CPD accreditation is anticipated to begin in October . What I Wanted It to Feel Like I didn't want to make another course that left people feeling more informed but no more prepared. I wanted it to feel warm. Approachable. Like something that helps you think rather than tells you what to think. "I really loved the warm tone and pacing of this course. Given the topic, it felt calm and reassuring — like a warm arm around the shoulder. For new graduates or those worried about risk, it is really supportive." — Dani M, Counsellor in Private Practice This course is not about eliminating anxiety around risk — that's not realistic and it's not honest. It's about the practical, pragmatic side. What do you do in advance to prepare? What are your actions in the moment? What tools and templates can you reach for? I'm not suggesting I have all the answers. But I've built enough confidence to manage, to know what I need to do, and to stay present with clients who are struggling. And I think that's the goal for most of us. Ready to Build Your Confidence? The course is live now. To mark the launch I'm offering 20% off for the first 20 enrolments using the code TWENTY20 at checkout. Full details and enrolment: counsellingwithdominic.co.uk/working-with-risk-course

I've recently achieved NCPS Accredited Professional status — and I wanted to take a moment to explain what that actually means, without getting too deep into therapy politics. Understanding Accreditation When you qualify as a counsellor, you're able to practise and continue working without accreditation. Accreditation is the point at which you've been reviewed and found to meet the standards set by your professional membership body. To achieve it, you have to demonstrate: A minimum of 450 client hours At least 35 hours of Continued Professional Development (CPD) per year Regular clinical supervision — a minimum of 1.5 hours per month, working ethically throughout Reflective writing that shows you can consider your clients' needs, differences, and work within the parameters of your training Evidenced logs, all verified This is a significant amount of work that often goes unnoticed. Getting everything together — the logs, the essays, the reflections — can be genuinely stressful. But it matters. Accreditation shows you're a professional who works hard and ethically to meet the needs of your clients. The Importance of Accreditation It's a chance to reflect on your practice, consolidate what works and why. Practically, it also means moving to NCPS Category B status — a recognised level for counsellors working in private practice. To me, it says something simpler: I can be trusted with your problems. It shows I care about my work and my practice to a level that can be evidenced. The people I work with matter — and this is one way of demonstrating that I take my work seriously. Behind the Scenes That includes everything that happens when you're not in the room: the supervision, the thinking and reflecting, the training to better understand and keep learning. All of it builds toward the relationship and rapport I have with my clients. I care both in and out of the room. To me, that's what an accredited counsellor is. The Journey to Accreditation Achieving accreditation is not just a milestone; it's a journey. It involves dedication, commitment, and a deep understanding of the therapeutic process. Each step along the way is a learning experience that shapes who I am as a professional. Client Hours The requirement of 450 client hours is not merely a number. Each hour spent with a client is an opportunity to learn and grow. It allows me to understand different perspectives and challenges. Every session is a chance to connect, empathise, and support someone in their journey. Continued Professional Development The 35 hours of Continued Professional Development (CPD) each year is crucial. It ensures that I stay informed about the latest practices and theories in counselling. This ongoing education helps me to provide the best possible support to my clients. Clinical Supervision Regular clinical supervision is another vital component. It provides a space for reflection and guidance. Having a supervisor means I can discuss my cases, seek advice, and ensure that I am working ethically. This support is invaluable in maintaining a high standard of care. Reflective Practice Reflective writing is more than just a requirement; it’s a powerful tool. It allows me to consider my clients' needs and differences deeply. By reflecting on my practice, I can identify what works well and what needs improvement. This process is essential for personal and professional growth. Building Trust and Rapport Trust is the foundation of any therapeutic relationship. Accreditation helps to build that trust. It reassures clients that I have met rigorous standards and that I am committed to ethical practice. The Role of Empathy Empathy is at the heart of counselling. It allows me to connect with clients on a deeper level. When clients feel understood and valued, they are more likely to open up and engage in the therapeutic process. The Impact of Accreditation on Clients For clients, knowing that their counsellor is accredited can provide peace of mind. It signifies that they are working with someone who is dedicated to their well-being. This assurance can make a significant difference in their therapeutic journey. Conclusion In conclusion, achieving NCPS Accredited Professional status is a significant accomplishment. It reflects my commitment to ethical practice and ongoing professional development. I strive to create a supportive environment where clients feel safe and valued. Accreditation is not just a badge; it’s a testament to the hard work and dedication that goes into being a counsellor. It represents my promise to you: I am here to support you through your challenges.

I have noticed of late a few things that I wanted to share. I have been offering specialisms of carers, anxiety, adult diagnosis of ADHD and email counselling here in Bradford and West Yorkshire. What struck me was that as I thought about these, they are all experiences — either direct or indirectly — that can lead to barriers to accessing therapy. The very thing you would want to seek help about leads to problems accessing the help to address it. It isn't lost on me. So I thought I would share a little about each specialism, and simply emphasise that I know it isn't easy. Carers It is really hard to be responsible for someone else and find time for you. The appointments that come in at unpredictable times and not always with a great deal of notice. The changes in condition that lead to a need for prioritising your needs. How could you ever have a set time that can't be changed? It must be doubly frustrating when you feel like a) you're letting someone else down or b) you can't commit time to yourself. The guilt with putting yourself first is so difficult to manage. I really understand this. As a therapist working with carers in Bradford and West Yorkshire, I recognise that I need fixed appointments as best I can to manage my clients' and my own time. I try to be understanding of shift workers and have some slots available to book in advance, rather than only having regular time slots. I appreciate I may still be difficult to fit around, but I welcome anyone and would note my cancellation policy of 24 hours' notice, and flexibility where I can to try and reschedule. ADHD in Adults — Late Diagnosis I started to work with ADHD after a couple of clients attended with other issues and carried a diagnosis as a secondary presentation. It felt like genuinely enjoyable work. Through it, I realised I was experiencing similar things myself and decided to seek my own diagnosis — which I received in 2025. I had already been diagnosed late with dyslexia and found that a confusing and unsettling time. I realised a diagnosis was the start of the story, not the ending. I explored and over time understood the things that were related and had impacted me — and also when they had not. It took time and the reflection skills I had developed, but not everyone reaches for those as a first response. This led me to think carefully about being a practitioner for adult ADHD in Bradford and West Yorkshire — specifically for those with a late diagnosis — to help people understand the impact, unpack a lot of the questions, historical frustrations, and make peace with moving forward. I think this client group can find that the support available is not widely known, with ADHD coaching being mainly focused on how to move forward. That is why I see a real barrier to accessing supportive, reflective therapy for adults with ADHD. Anxiety Anxiety presents in so many different ways — our health, phobias, or the texture of general day-to-day life. Anxiety can present as a barrier to travelling to therapy at all. It can increase when attending any kind of appointment, especially medical or therapeutic ones. It does help in time, but the feeling of dread beforehand — whether that's using a bus, driving, or simply planning what you want to say — can make it hard to manage. And then on top of that, you have to speak and open up once you get there. My response to this is to make people feel as welcome as possible. I understand that how I am, and how my therapy room at Merrydale House in Bradford (just off the M606 motorway) feels, directly impacts on a client's comfort and can reduce some of that anxiety. I make a point of making a hot drink for people to feel relaxed and welcome. I use accessible language, metaphors, and avoid clinical jargon — the more straightforward our conversations are, the easier it is to take our work forward. Email Counselling This fascinated me, and I wondered at first how it could be useful — or whether it was only suited to one particular client group. The beauty of email counselling in the UK is that it broadens the scope considerably. I can help people who may not normally feel confident or comfortable moving forward with therapy, whether that's because of what they want to talk about, discomfort with being seen on a screen, or because speaking itself feels difficult for them. It opens up so many avenues by breaking down barriers. If there is one thing I am passionate about, it is helping people access therapy that actually works for them. What Ties It All Together Thinking about it, the thing that connects all of my specialisms is my desire to support people with experiences that may have left them feeling lost or unable to seek therapy in the first place. I try to be flexible and understanding in my role, and I am always thinking about how I can improve what I offer. If any of this resonates with you, please feel free to get in touch. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation, and I would be happy to have a conversation about whether counselling with me might be a good fit for you.

What is Email Counselling? Email counselling is a form of therapy conducted entirely through written communication. Rather than meeting face-to-face or by video, you and your counsellor exchange emails at an agreed pace — allowing you to engage with therapy in a way that suits your life, your schedule, and your communication style. Is it as effective as face-to-face therapy? Research and practice consistently show that email counselling can be just as effective as in-person therapy for many people. The act of writing itself can be therapeutic — it gives you time to reflect, choose your words, and say things you might struggle to express out loud. Many clients find they open up more readily in writing. Who is it for? Email counselling works particularly well if you: live in a rural area or have limited access to local therapy; have a busy or unpredictable schedule; experience social anxiety or find face-to-face contact difficult; are a carer with limited time to travel; process your thoughts better in writing; or simply prefer the flexibility of asynchronous communication. How Does It Work — Step by Step Step 1 — Get in Touch Contact me via the form on this site or by email at counsellingwithdominic@gmail.com. I offer a free 15-minute phone call to discuss whether email counselling feels right for you — there is no obligation and no pressure. Step 2 — We Agree a Focus Before we begin, we agree on the areas you would like to explore — this might be anxiety, stress, caring responsibilities, ADHD, or simply a sense that something is not right. This helps give our email exchange a clear direction while leaving space for whatever emerges. Step 3 — You Write, I Respond Each session begins with you sending me an email — there is no fixed length or format. Write as much or as little as feels right. I will read your email carefully and respond within an agreed timeframe, typically within 48 hours. My response will be thoughtful, person-centred, and tailored entirely to what you have shared. Step 4 — We Reflect and Continue You can take as long as you need to read my response, sit with it, and reply when you are ready. Sessions can be weekly or at a pace that works for you. Over time, we build a written therapeutic relationship at the heart of which is your wellbeing and your pace. Confidentiality and Safety All email counselling sessions are held with the same duty of confidentiality as in-person sessions. I am a BACP-registered counsellor and work within the BACP Ethical Framework. Before we begin I will share my working agreement, which covers confidentiality, data protection, and what happens in cases where I am concerned about your safety. Cost Email counselling sessions are £50, the same as my in-person and video sessions. Payment is made in advance of each session. If you need to cancel or reschedule, please give at least 24 hours notice. Ready to take the first step? Get in touch today for your free 15-minute consultation — call 07946 236431 or email counsellingwithdominic@gmail.com.

A Calm, Professional Space for Hire in Bradford Based at Merrydale House in Bradford, this fully furnished therapy room is available to rent for qualified practitioners looking for a professional, confidential space to see clients in West Yorkshire. Whether you are an established therapist, a newly qualified counsellor, or a practitioner looking for a flexible base in Bradford, this room offers a calm and welcoming environment for your clients. About the Room The room has been carefully designed to feel warm, safe and comfortable — the qualities that matter most to clients attending therapy. It features: Two comfortable chairs and a sofa — suitable for individual or couples work Warm ambient lighting with floor lamps Natural light from a distinctive starburst feature window Tea and coffee facilities for clients A therapy clock for session timing Private, confidential setting — no shared waiting room pressure Free parking available for clients Location Merrydale House is conveniently located in Bradford, West Yorkshire, with easy access from the M606 and good transport links across the district. Address: Merrydale House, Roydsdale Way, Bradford, BD4 6SE Pricing Room hire is available in four-hour slots at £20 per slot, with a 30-minute changeover gap built in between bookings. Three slots are available each day: Morning — 9:00am to 1:00pm Afternoon — 1:30pm to 5:30pm Evening — 6:00pm to 10:30pm Discounts are available for regular bookings and multiple slot bookings. Please get in touch to discuss a rate that works for you. Who Can Hire the Room? This room is available to qualified therapists, counsellors, coaches and other practitioners. Hirers are required to: Hold a relevant professional qualification in their practice area Hold current professional indemnity and public liability insurance Be registered with a recognised professional body (e.g. BACP, NCPS, BPS, ICF) or equivalent Agree to the room hire terms and conditions prior to booking Check Availability & Book Use the booking tool below to view available slots and make a reservation. For questions, to discuss discounts, or to arrange a viewing of the room, please get in touch directly. 📞 07946 236431 | ✉️ counsellingwithdominic@gmail.com

I occasionally write articles for external organisations focusing on men’s mental health, life transitions, and emotional wellbeing. Below are published articles written by me for Men’s Counselling Service . Understanding Men's Mental Health Men's mental health is a crucial topic that often gets overlooked. Many men face unique challenges when it comes to expressing their feelings and seeking help. I aim to shed light on these issues through my writing. Men in Therapy and the Stigma of Talking An exploration of why many men struggle to talk about mental health, the impact of stigma, and how therapy can help create change. 🔗 Read the article on Men’s Counselling Service (opens in new tab) Standing Up to Stress: A Focus on Men’s Mental Health A reflective piece looking at how stress presents in men, why it is often overlooked, and the importance of early recognition. 🔗 Read the article on Men’s Counselling Service (opens in new tab) A Male Perspective on Loss of Identity After Retirement An article exploring how retirement can affect men’s identity, routine, and sense of purpose. 🔗 Read the article on Men’s Counselling Service (opens in new tab) The Importance of Seeking Help It's essential to understand that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Many men feel pressure to conform to traditional notions of masculinity. This can lead to isolation and emotional distress. When we talk about mental health, we create a space for understanding and healing. Therapy can be a powerful tool for change. It allows us to express our feelings in a safe environment. Building a Supportive Community Creating a supportive community is vital for mental wellbeing. We need to encourage open conversations about mental health. By sharing our experiences, we can help others feel less alone. It's important to remember that you are not alone in your struggles. Many people face similar challenges. Together, we can foster a culture of empathy and understanding. Moving Forward As we continue to discuss men's mental health, let's focus on breaking down the barriers that prevent open dialogue. We can all play a part in creating a more supportive environment. If you or someone you know is struggling, please consider reaching out for help. There are resources available, and you deserve support. These articles were written by Dominic Burch and originally published by Men’s Counselling Service.

Near, Far, and Very Far Goals for ADHD, Anxiety, and Emotional Wellbeing I have noticed a pause in my blog writing and website posts recently. This has not been accidental. Over the past months, much of my attention has been focused on preparing my professional accreditation — one of my longer-term goals. Although accreditation was always something I intended to work towards after qualifying, it gradually shifted from a distant ambition into something much more immediate. As criteria were met and evidence gathered, the goal became clearer, more structured, and more present. My mental energy followed it. Other areas of life naturally quietened during this period. From a therapeutic perspective, this is not a failure of balance, but a reflection of how goals organise attention, motivation, and emotional resources . Why goal setting matters for mental health Goal setting is not just about productivity or achievement. In therapy, goals often serve a different purpose: they provide orientation, structure, and emotional regulation . Many people notice that their mood dips when there is little to look forward to or when life feels repetitive or overwhelming. Having something meaningful — even something small — can help stabilise mood and motivation. Goals also help us manage gratification and emotional intensity : When everything is immediate, satisfaction can fade quickly When everything feels distant or overwhelming, motivation can drop Holding goals at different distances helps maintain balance rather than extremes. This is particularly important for people experiencing anxiety, burnout, or ADHD . Near, far, and very far goals explained Near goals (short-term goals) Near goals are often the most emotionally regulating. They provide something concrete and achievable to look forward to, helping to anchor us during difficult periods. Examples of short-term goals include: A weekly TV programme Meeting a friend or family member Planning a particular meal Working a shift with a colleague you enjoy While box sets are convenient, many people notice that waiting a week for something can be psychologically containing. Anticipation and pacing support emotional regulation, particularly for anxiety and ADHD. Far goals (medium-term goals) Medium-term goals help bridge the present and the future. They offer momentum without feeling overwhelming. Examples include: Going to a concert or planning a short break Applying for a new job Making changes to working patterns Beginning a personal or professional project In therapy, far goals support planning, patience, and reflection — skills that often feel difficult during periods of stress or low confidence. Very far goals (long-term goals) Long-term goals are often linked to identity, values, and meaning. Examples might include: Working towards a qualification Changing career direction Building a business or private practice Personal growth or healing goals Without support, very far goals can feel overwhelming. Therapy helps break them down into manageable steps so they feel supportive rather than pressurising. Goal setting and ADHD: managing impulsivity and excitement For many adults with ADHD, goal setting can feel both essential and challenging. The ADHD nervous system is often driven by immediacy, novelty, and emotional intensity . This can mean: Short-term goals feel magnetic Medium-term goals are hard to sustain Long-term goals feel overwhelming or unrealistic Impulsivity is not a flaw. It is often the nervous system’s attempt to regulate stimulation, interest, or emotional discomfort. In therapy, impulsivity is explored with curiosity rather than judgement. Using near, far, and very far goals can help: Near goals  provide quick reward and reduce impulsive decision-making Far goals  create a pause between excitement and action Very far goals  connect behaviour to values rather than urgency Many adults with ADHD struggle not with low motivation, but with managing excitement . Therapy helps slow the cycle of over-commitment followed by overwhelm. SMART goals and therapeutic pacing The SMART framework — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-limited  — can be helpful in therapy when applied flexibly. Rather than creating pressure, SMART goals provide clarity and containment. Therapy often reframes the focus from: “What should I be doing?” to: What feels possible right now? What would be enough, rather than perfect? What needs support before change can happen? This approach is particularly helpful for clients with anxiety, ADHD, or a history of burnout. Needs, growth, and balance Abraham Maslow described how humans move through layers of need — from safety and belonging, towards esteem and self-actualisation. As we grow, we often create new goals. Growth can be fulfilling, but it can also become exhausting if we never pause to reflect. Therapy often holds space for questions such as: Are my needs currently met? Am I content enough right now? What am I grateful for? Balance matters. Striving and rest support one another. Goal setting in counselling In counselling, goals are not about performance or productivity. They are about choice, understanding, and self-compassion . Goals can change, soften, or be set aside altogether. Revising a goal is not failure — it is responsiveness. Sometimes the most meaningful goal is not doing more, but learning how to be with where you already are. If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or caught between impulsivity and avoidance, therapy can offer a space to explore goals at a pace that feels manageable, thoughtful, and kind .

Finding a Therapist: A Practical Guide Taking the step to seek help is a huge and courageous decision. But once you've made it, the next challenge begins: finding the right therapist — and that can feel like a minefield. Where do you search? What type of therapy should you choose? How much will it cost? How do you know who’s the right fit? I’m going to share some tips to help you find the right therapist for your  needs. As therapists, we've all been through therapy ourselves as part of our training, so I understand the swirl of thoughts that can come up — fears about being judged, or worrying that seeking help might be seen as weakness. Trust me: it's not. It’s a strength. What Do You Want from Therapy? Before you start your search, it’s worth thinking about what you hope to get from therapy: Are you looking to talk through a specific issue? Are you trying to understand recurring patterns of thought or behaviour? Has something you've experienced made daily life difficult to manage? Has a professional recommended a particular type of therapy? Knowing your goal can make it easier to find a therapist whose style matches what you need. Common Types of Therapy Here’s a quick overview of some popular approaches: Person-Centred Therapy In this approach, you do most of the talking. It offers time and space for you to reflect, with the therapist supporting you to understand your thoughts, feelings, and actions. (Full disclosure: I’m person-centred trained, so I know firsthand how empowering this open, supportive style can be!) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) CBT is more structured and focused on working through specific problems. It often addresses negative thinking patterns, like catastrophising (jumping straight to the worst-case scenario), and aims to develop practical coping strategies. Psychotherapy Similar to person-centred therapy, but usually longer-term and more in-depth. Psychotherapy often explores root causes of difficulties and may integrate different techniques. Transactional Analysis (TA) TA looks at how your childhood experiences and the roles you play in relationships affect your current behaviours. It uses models like the Parent-Adult-Child framework to help you recognise and change unhelpful patterns. How Would You Like to Access Therapy? Think about what format would make you feel most comfortable: Email Therapy Great if work, caring responsibilities, or anxiety about meetings make regular sessions tricky. Telephone Therapy Ideal if you find face-to-face interactions overwhelming or prefer the privacy of not being seen. In-Person Therapy Meeting physically can help by providing a clear boundary between therapy time and daily life. Online Therapy A convenient option if you're tech-savvy, allowing you to schedule sessions without the need for travel. Walk-and-Talk Therapy For some, movement and fresh air make it easier to open up. It’s a good choice if being in an enclosed space feels intimidating. Where to Look for a Therapist Once you have a sense of what you need, here are some ways to start your search (I'll use myself as an example): Google Search Try searching terms like “counsellors near me” or “online therapists” along with your location or preferred format. Counselling Directory A helpful website where you can filter by therapy type, therapist gender, cost, and other preferences. BACP Directory The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) is the largest membership body for therapists. Being listed here means a therapist has agreed to uphold professional standards and ongoing development — something that can offer real peace of mind. Social Media Many therapists use platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn to share their approaches and values. Browsing their posts or videos can help you get a feel for their personality and style. Things to Keep in Mind Ask Questions It's absolutely okay to ask a therapist about their qualifications, approach, or experience when you first get in touch. A good therapist will welcome your questions. Trust Your Feelings You should feel safe, respected, and comfortable speaking at your own pace. Therapy is personal — the connection matters just as much as the method. Check Credentials Directories often vet therapists, but if you’re finding someone elsewhere, you can always ask for confirmation of their membership with professional bodies. What About Cost? Therapy costs can vary. It's helpful to: Decide on a budget you’re comfortable with. Check if therapists offer flexibility, like fortnightly sessions. Ask if they have any lower-cost slots, which some therapists reserve for clients with financial constraints. Think of therapy as an investment in yourself — but one that should feel sustainable, not stressful. In Summary Finding the right therapist can take a little time, but it’s worth it. Trust yourself, ask questions, and remember: taking this first step is a huge act of self-care. You deserve to find the support you need.

Is it impersonal?   How does it work?   Why would you try this type of therapy?   These are the main questions I asked myself when I considered undertaking the email counselling course. I thought to myself, I wanted to embrace something quite different and challenge myself to see different possibilities.   One of my thoughts, having worked within the mental health sector for the last 20 years, is that therapy needs to be accessible. It is no good if it can't be accessed. There is a lot of theory backing up the fact that the relationship between client and therapist is paramount to successful therapy. So, if you can create a bond or a relationship either in person, online or even over the telephone, then why can't the same words make that difference in writing? We talk about having a connection with poetry, books or letters from loved ones, so why couldn’t we have that connection to a therapeutic interaction in writing?   Having a pen pal feels a less common these days, but essentially anyone who has had a pen pal at some stage in the past will tell you that they have built a bond by writing to someone, and they have at times shared things with them that they haven’t with others. Having someone to write to has given people a little more freedom in what they write, and thinking more about what they would say to someone. I find there is a cathartic energy with writing your feelings be it journalling, writing lists, letter writing (sent or unsent). These are all creative therapy techniques that I sometimes work with or suggest outside of the therapy room. Brief explanation of how it works Having email counselling may differ between therapists but the process and time will almost be the same. So an enquiry is made like with any other type of therapy and the considerations to send in an introductory email, what to put, how long (typically 500 words, which is roughly one side of A4 typed), when to send by, and how long after you will get a reply. Once the time frame is agreed upon, I will usually identify a time on a day, i.e. midnight on a Friday for your email, and then the response can be expected within 48 hours later. If this goes well and you would want to proceed the dates and times are agreed. If the day to send is a Friday you could set yourself a date or time to write that suits you within your schedule or be flexible and just when the moment feels right. Once ready to send, payment as normal in therapy is in advance with your email and then the response is received within the agreed time. An Email therapist will usually take at least the time for a usual therapy session to review your email and draft a response before reviewing and sending it back by the agreed deadline 48 hours later.   This will be continuous until a point where the ending will be agreed upon and two responses are asked to end as the therapist's last email will be the last one. This allows space to ask questions and contemplate any unfinished work to be responded to.   So who would this suit?   This style of therapy will suit many different people but is not limited to; ·       Those who work shifts and can't stick to consistent times, ·       carers – whose responsibilities mean they don’t always have the free time to book appointments. ·       People who are anxious about discussing their needs and may struggle in person. ·       People who feel embarrassed or ashamed of discussing their needs. ·       It could be somebody with issues that mean they can't meet face to face or have the space to do an online session with privacy. ·       Someone who wants to maintain their privacy.   Of course, everything has some drawbacks; some people benefit from seeing people in person only, Some manage an online or telephone session more easily. This may not suit everybody, but for those who may resonate with the points above, it may be an ideal way to access therapy.     See my guide for more information or feel free to message me and ask any questions directly.

From when we are born and go through school, we are encouraged to think about what we want to be. We get told to think of careers or even religious aspirations with goals, such as marriage encouraged. There are times in our life encouraging us to reach certain levels by a measurable point.   Education has set milestones for the socially accepted point to reach things, but we can manage to achieve things at different points achieving qualifications or alternatives, such as when we hit stumbling blocks. Some people go to colleges or universities direct from school, whilst others go later in life or via work or the Open University.   With Employment, some people have a mantra of work to live, and some look at it as live to work. Work is a lot of your time. It can be easier to think of it as a means to an end, or to focus on something that you really enjoy. There can be pressure to earn higher amounts, or to progress with promotions or status within a workplace. Before I start to go off point, the reason I’m using these examples is to highlight that we have different pressures in life and different expectations. Some of these “standards” are placed by our own desires and some are societal or family expectations. Balancing these pressures with our dreams can be quite hard to manage. Sometimes we seek inspiration from people around us, and sometimes we seek the success of more successful people within society. This can be from role models we develop in our youth, so I wanted think about how we find our role models.   I think we look at role models based on lots of different factors, but I want to consider those who we aspire to be. Is it a savvy entrepreneur or a talented musician/actor. Are we looking for a hero or someone who is just good at something, and sharing it with the world? I think our perspectives tend to change as we get older, and we are less looking for a marvel type caped crusader and more just someone we would like to be more alike.   A hero or a role model can be useful, but we must be mindful of what they could mean to us. Are they helping us motivate and reach a better version of ourselves, or are we trying to replicate their lives with an element of the ‘ Green-Eyed Monster’ ? For instance, I may appreciate Usain Bolt for how fast he can run, but if I'm not a sprinter, I'm never going to be able to strive to be as fast as him. Although, if I am a sprinter, I may aspire to be as fast as Usain Bolt, but I may take inspiration from the adversity Linford Christie overcame and keeping strong with his beliefs.    I want to share some examples of people I admire but don't feel the need to replicate their successes. Adele has a voice and can sing. Whilst I can't sing, I do appreciate that she can. I also like the fact that she has tried to be herself and maintain that in the public eye whilst having a large amount of privacy, she also takes care of her fans when she performs. I also saw George Ezra with my daughter, and really like how he is open about his anxiety and his lyrics intrigue me. He too is not the typical pop star of today and is comfortable in his skin, just a generally good guy.   I have aims to start some Men’s Well-being groups in the future. I'm always inspired when I watch things like ‘ Mortimer and Whitehouse Go Fishing .’ They started out after having health scares, and try to improve their lives by keeping active, trying to eat healthier, but having a friendship behind it that is warming to see.   These are just a few examples of my interests, but in terms of therapy, there is a point to this. Inspiration, desires and dreams can be a double-edged sword - like ‘stress’, we need an element of them to survive and to create happiness or sense of purpose. Unfortunately, sometimes there needs to be an acceptance of being unable to manage our dreams or aspirations. It could be the young sports person who can't recover from an injury, and it is out of their hands. A musician or actor who can't achieve their roles they want to. Sometimes our dreams are manageable and sometimes they are not. I'm always fascinated when sports stars swap sports. It doesn't always go how they hope, but being able to follow a dream and say ‘I tried’  is important too. I have an admiration for people who try and have a go as it is not always easy. I also appreciate those that realise a time has come for them to consider how they can move forward.   Therapy can help to uncover frustrations, to accept and become at peace with goals or dreams that are not going to come true. It is also possible that when we achieve our dreams, it is not what we thought it would be. Sometimes the feeling can leave us empty afterwards. Having the chance to speak openly without judgement can be a useful tool. We think about the people we usually turn to. However, they can have admiration for us, or a belief of what we could or should do. Having a therapeutic space allows us to share the bits that are important - be heard and have only the perspective from your eyes. Speaking and exploring things about yourself is as brave as following your dreams. You may not have the experience you expect. Within that is fear and excitement, shared feelings from your therapist, as they immerse themselves in your process.    Thank you for taking the time to read.   If you have enjoyed what you have read, please comment or share.   Feel free to ask any questions or make any suggestions for future blogs that may be helpful for you to take part in some Therapy in the future. #therapy #counselling #therapyWest Yorkshire #therapyonline #blogs #counsellingwithdominic